Classes are done in 29 days, and graduation is in 37 days. The closer it gets, the more freaked out I find myself getting. First of all, I'm terrified that I'm not going to get the C's I need in three of my classes in order to pass the requirements I need to graduate. Secondly, I'm terrified of what I'm going to do out in that big huge real world out there.

I know how horrible I am at saving money. I'm trying to get better, but I still find myself living paycheck to paycheck. I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford rent plus utilities plus living expenses. I don't even know what sort of work I'm going to be doing. It'd be great to pick up more hours at Imagination Stage. Heck, I'd even be okay if it's just 40 hours a week without benefits. I can stay on my parents' health care plan until I'm 26. That gives me some wiggle room. (Thanks, Obama!) Theoretically, if I get 40 hours a week at my current $10 an hour (for box office), I could be making a bit more than $20,000 a year. That's more than enough to get myself by. I would be okay with that. I could survive, and maybe even thrive, on that. As long as I'm working at least 20 hours a week, I'll have enough for $850 a month.

But what about my creative side? What about the life that I want to have? How do I start putting my name and face out there? How do I book auditions? Do people still do that whole mass mailing of headshot & resume thing? Can I afford to spend all that money on good copies of my headshot and shipping costs? Are people frowned upon if they just email the info in? Which theatres do I bother sending things to? I have a list of theatres and their casting directors in the area... do I just send out a cheery "Hi! I'm a fresh face in the industry looking for opportunities. Audition me!" and hope for the best? Do I start in the crappy regional theatres who are always posting audition notices to email listings and hope I can work my way up from there?

I'm just freaking out. Stressing. Being paranoid. Psyching myself out for hopefully no reason.